What is it going to take for you to be happy? The perfect husband? The most adorable disciplined kids? The Pinterest worthy house? The luxurious holidays? The fancy walk-in wardrobe? None of the above? All of the above?
We at Halal Goodies believe that happiness doesn’t exist alone. You can find happiness in one single area of your life and neglect everything else. It doesn’t work that way. When you uplift one area of your life, you automatically transfer that happiness and positive energy to the other areas of your life too.
As a multitasking and multi-passionate muslimah, you’re endlessly meeting the needs of others, often at the expense of yourself. Staying up way past midnight to complete a project because your kids were driving you crazy? Guilty! Mentally beating yourself up because of a little mistake you made during a family get together? Guilty, right?
Whilst happiness is seeing your children giggle or completing a project that you’re so proud of, it’s so much more than that. It’s addressing all the areas and roles in your life because it all matters. There’s no point in being a hugely successful entrepreneur if you’re lonely and craving love. There’s nothing worse than being surrounded by the most loving spouse but feeling unworthy because you’re losing yourself in your marriage. It all matters.
With that in mind, allow us to introduce you to the four pillars of wholesome happiness:
Your relationship with yourself forms the foundation of every other relationship you have in your life – even your relationship with Allah. If you’re filled with doubts, worries, shaky belief, you’re going to project that into your relationship with Allah. That’s why this pillar is crucial in your life and often the one that’s most easily neglected. This pillar is about your inner confidence, self-esteem, the thoughts that your habitually thinking, your spiritual growth, the way you treat yourself – mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.
2) Family/ Relationships:
Happiness is best shared. Achieving your ambitious goals and massively impacting others is amazing but it’s pretty lonely at the top. That’s why cultivating meaningful relationships is so important. There’s nothing worse than being surrounded by the finest luxuries of the world yet deeply lonely inside. This pillar includes your relationship with your spouse, children, parents and so forth. It’s also one of the most sensitive areas for most people. This is where we harbor resentment, jealousy, anger and thus calls for forgiveness, making peace with the past and letting go. Relationships are often our biggest teachers in life.
What kind of lifestyle do you want to have? What simple pleasures do you want to enjoy and experience in your life? What does your ideal perfect day look like? The third pillar of wholesome happiness is about consciously choosing to design a life that you’re happy with. It’s the lifestyle that you would love to live. If you’re not careful enough, you could easily fall into the trap of getting busy, living the same life for decades and still getting nowhere. That’s why designing your ideal life is key – What does your social life look like? How much free time do you have daily? What is your daily routine?
4) Purpose/ Giving Back:
If you’re like most women, you have this yearning for something more. You’re passionately bringing up your family, making endless sacrifices yet still have this yearning to express your creativity and give back to this ummah. That creative need to share your message to the world, help others and make an impact is deeply ingrained in us all. The final pillar of wholesome happiness is about sharing your gifts to the world – whether that’s giving charity, building an orphanage, sharing your recipes, giving your best motherhood advice to others… this pillar is all about service to others.
Which of the 4 pillars of wholesome happiness, do you want to work on? Which pillar have you been neglecting? If you were promised your dream life 3 months from now, which area would you address tomorrow? Start with that area – the beautiful thing about wholesome happiness is that when you work in one area of your life, you uplift all other areas too. We’ll be exploring all these pillars more inshaAllah, keep an eye out for articles and more inspirational content coming your way.
About the Author
Umme Hafsa is a life coach, blogger, self-love advocate and alimiyyah graduate. Her mission is to inspire Muslim women to create a beautiful life, infused with love, fiercely igniting their soul to manifest their wildest dreams. Alhamdulillah, we are fortunate to have her as one of our brand advisor. You can find her on her blog, Inspired and Fabulous.